I have mentioned the search for my dress in a past post, and I have talked about the crazy reasons for not wanting to reveal her identity on the world wide web. But that doesn't mean that I can't write about our dress buying adventures, does it?
As mentioned, my sister and I spent a lot of time narrowing down the search for dresses. After an extensive search in the Toronto area, we visited some boutiques in Kitchener and Waterloo. We were very pleasantly surprised by the amount of bridal salons that are found in these tiny cities just west of Toronto. The prices of the dresses were also significantly lower than what we were able to find elsewhere.
We knew that I'd never be able to pick a dress without my Mama present, so we made a mantle note to bring her back to the stores we visited. We returned to the area shortly before our trip to Poland this summer. My Mama was going to Poland with us, and she was planning on staying for a couple of months, so it was kind of crunch time. We visited our favourite of the Kitchener stores, and found the dress that we felt was "the one". It was a San Patrick gown that my mom swears was "made for me". We went to a couple of other stores, but found nothing that even compared to the San Patrick.
Upon returning to the original store and trying the dress on again, we were sold. But this isn't where the adventure ends. We also began to have a little bit of cold feet. The dress was on the expensive side of the dresses we were looking at and the standard length was too long (at my height, this is a surprise) and would need to be ordered in a custom length which was an extra fee. I asked the sales women to measure me so that they would have the information on file, and told them that we would sleep on it and call them in the morning. We didn't want to drive all the way back to Kitchener (about an hour's drive), but the staff assured us that we could put in the order over the phone.
When we got home, my Mama and I decided to visit just one more bridal salon. We had recently moved, and there was a bridal store just down the street. We walked in, and the sales lady put me in a beautiful, fit and flare, tulle gown. The dress fit me like a glove, and they were having a sample sale. I could have this dress for about 1/4th of the cost of my original pick. We asked the staff to put the dress on hold, and we went home with a big decision to make...
Did you pick a more expensive dream dress, or did you pick a stunning bargain dress?
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
A New Family
I was inspired by a Weddingbee board thread yesterday to write a post about my living situation. For the last 2 months, Matthew and I have been living with his parents. Initially, we were planning on making this a temporary situation, but are now thinking of staying until after our wedding in July.
I have always been 100% behind the idea of living with his family. Matthew, on the other hand, has been more hesitant. When we lived apart, I lived with my dad, and Matthew lived with his parents. It just didn't make much sense for us to be renting two separate apartments, one in Toronto and one in Vermont, when we knew that our living situation was temporary. I was never ashamed of telling people that I lived with my dad, but I was extremely proud of the fact that I was able to pay off my student debt in a year and a half. Matthew, however, has admitted to purposefully omitting his living situation from conversation for fear that he would be judged as a slacker. I think the fact that I have moved in puts even more pressure on him. He promised to provide for me if I moved here, and I think that he feels like he is not doing that as long as we are living with his parents.
In the Polish culture, it is very common for a young married couple to live with their parents. Many households contain several generations. This is a simple way to help each other out: the grandparents provide shelter for the young couple, and in return, the young couple takes care of the grandparents as they age. It's a loving way for families to work together.
It seems that in North America, this living situation is looked upon differently. Many people have the false belief that living with your parents means that you are either irresponsible or broke. This is not the case for us: we can afford an apartment, but want to buy a house. We want to be debt free, and are taking this opportunity to save as much money as possible. We are very, very lucky to have people who love us and want to help us. I know that not everyone is in the same boat.
I think that it is more mature to accept help when you need it, than to drown in your pride. I see many people our age take on more than they can chew with school loans, mortgage payments, and credit card debt. We are sacrificing some luxuries, to make sure that our life together is started on the right foot.
Another positive side of living with Matthew's family is the fact that you get to know your in laws very well! I really appreciate and love my new family, even though I still can't call Matthew's parents by their first names. I hope that they won't mind me calling them "mom" and "dad" after the wedding.
Anyone else in my boat? Do you live with your parents or in laws?
P. S. I've been struggling with the STD's all morning. Hopefully I'll be able to show you the finished product tomorrow.
I have always been 100% behind the idea of living with his family. Matthew, on the other hand, has been more hesitant. When we lived apart, I lived with my dad, and Matthew lived with his parents. It just didn't make much sense for us to be renting two separate apartments, one in Toronto and one in Vermont, when we knew that our living situation was temporary. I was never ashamed of telling people that I lived with my dad, but I was extremely proud of the fact that I was able to pay off my student debt in a year and a half. Matthew, however, has admitted to purposefully omitting his living situation from conversation for fear that he would be judged as a slacker. I think the fact that I have moved in puts even more pressure on him. He promised to provide for me if I moved here, and I think that he feels like he is not doing that as long as we are living with his parents.
In the Polish culture, it is very common for a young married couple to live with their parents. Many households contain several generations. This is a simple way to help each other out: the grandparents provide shelter for the young couple, and in return, the young couple takes care of the grandparents as they age. It's a loving way for families to work together.
It seems that in North America, this living situation is looked upon differently. Many people have the false belief that living with your parents means that you are either irresponsible or broke. This is not the case for us: we can afford an apartment, but want to buy a house. We want to be debt free, and are taking this opportunity to save as much money as possible. We are very, very lucky to have people who love us and want to help us. I know that not everyone is in the same boat.
I think that it is more mature to accept help when you need it, than to drown in your pride. I see many people our age take on more than they can chew with school loans, mortgage payments, and credit card debt. We are sacrificing some luxuries, to make sure that our life together is started on the right foot.
Another positive side of living with Matthew's family is the fact that you get to know your in laws very well! I really appreciate and love my new family, even though I still can't call Matthew's parents by their first names. I hope that they won't mind me calling them "mom" and "dad" after the wedding.
Anyone else in my boat? Do you live with your parents or in laws?
P. S. I've been struggling with the STD's all morning. Hopefully I'll be able to show you the finished product tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The Struggle of the Modern Woman
A couple of weeks ago, we received the latest issue of "Time" magazine (thanks to Matthew's parents....if it was up to me, we'd just be getting Martha and maybe some US Weekly). Anyway, Time has conducted a survey on "The State of the American Women", which was summarized in an article by Nancy Gibbs. The results were overwhelmingly positive. According to the author, "it's expected that by the end of the year, for the first time in history the majority of workers in the U.S. will be women". Furthermore, "more and more women are the primary breadwinner in their household (almost 40%)". Gibbs also notes that the notion that "women's rise comes at men's expense" is all but forgotten.
As a person who is extremely interested in the issues of equality, I started reading this article with a smile on my face, proud of how much the women of my generation have contributed to the movement. As I kept reading, however, my smile began to diminish. By the end of the article, Gibbs concludes that "as women have gained more freedom, more education and more economic power, they have become less happy". She attributes this to several different issues, one of which was that women are "working longer hours while playing quarterback at home".
When I closely studied the survey, I became even more concerned. Even though 76% of the people polled said that the fact that women now compose nearly half of the workforce is positive for society, 65% of these same peeps thought that our society has been negatively impacted by the decrease in the amount of children who grow up with a stay at home parent (only 30%). Is it just me, or do these statistics seem to clash? The reason that most children do not grow up with a stay at home parent is precisely the fact that women now work. Even though a father is just as capable of taking care of children as a mother, the reality is that it is mostly women who choose to stay home. Indeed, if our family had the option of a stay at home parent, I would certainly want it to be me!
As I prepare to create a family of my own, I can't help but think about the fact that I am exactly the type of woman that will struggle with these decisions. I love my career: I find it meaningful and fulfilling. But I also want to have a family, and want to do what's best for my kiddies. I wonder if there is some kind of magical equation for balancing home and career as far as women are concerned.
Have you ever thought about how your role at home and your professional career will merge, and what effect this might have on you, your husband, and/or your future children?
P.S. If you are interested in reading the article, or in studying the survey, you can find it here.
As a person who is extremely interested in the issues of equality, I started reading this article with a smile on my face, proud of how much the women of my generation have contributed to the movement. As I kept reading, however, my smile began to diminish. By the end of the article, Gibbs concludes that "as women have gained more freedom, more education and more economic power, they have become less happy". She attributes this to several different issues, one of which was that women are "working longer hours while playing quarterback at home".
When I closely studied the survey, I became even more concerned. Even though 76% of the people polled said that the fact that women now compose nearly half of the workforce is positive for society, 65% of these same peeps thought that our society has been negatively impacted by the decrease in the amount of children who grow up with a stay at home parent (only 30%). Is it just me, or do these statistics seem to clash? The reason that most children do not grow up with a stay at home parent is precisely the fact that women now work. Even though a father is just as capable of taking care of children as a mother, the reality is that it is mostly women who choose to stay home. Indeed, if our family had the option of a stay at home parent, I would certainly want it to be me!
As I prepare to create a family of my own, I can't help but think about the fact that I am exactly the type of woman that will struggle with these decisions. I love my career: I find it meaningful and fulfilling. But I also want to have a family, and want to do what's best for my kiddies. I wonder if there is some kind of magical equation for balancing home and career as far as women are concerned.
Have you ever thought about how your role at home and your professional career will merge, and what effect this might have on you, your husband, and/or your future children?
P.S. If you are interested in reading the article, or in studying the survey, you can find it here.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Missin my Peeps
Yesterday I went on a blind date with a woman. Matthew set me up with the wife of a coworker to get me out of the house. We went for lunch. It was magical.
One of the unfortunate consequences of following your heart to a different country to be with your sweety, is the fact that you have to leave all of your hard earned friendships behind. I am a person who takes some time to warm up to people, so trying to build relationships under pressure is torture. So, today's post is about all of the lovely people that I have left behind in Canada.
Let's start with my lovely housemates. From left to right that's Rhiannon, Jessica, me, and Holly. Sadly, we are currently scattered across the world, in Australia, England, the US, and Bahrain. I hope that they are all able to make it to our wedding for a little reunion.
Next, we have "the core" (yes, we actually called ourselves that....we even had t-shirts made). You can see my back in this picture, Rebecca is the deliriously happy one, Steph is facing the camera, and Rob is sadly hidden.
Here we are dressed up for a "villains" party....we're the ghosts from Pacman! You've already met Rebecca and Rhiannon, and my high school friend Rachel is on the right.
Mary has been my friend for the shortest amount of time, but has nevertheless made an impact on my life. Matthew and I attended her wedding in March, and she was a beautiful bride.
Myself, Rob, Rebecca, and Rhiannon at graduation (man I have a lot of friends whose names start with "R").
I can only hope that I am lucky enough to meet such wonderful friends here in Vermont. Did you have to leave your social circle and start a new one to be with your fiance?
One of the unfortunate consequences of following your heart to a different country to be with your sweety, is the fact that you have to leave all of your hard earned friendships behind. I am a person who takes some time to warm up to people, so trying to build relationships under pressure is torture. So, today's post is about all of the lovely people that I have left behind in Canada.
Let's start with my lovely housemates. From left to right that's Rhiannon, Jessica, me, and Holly. Sadly, we are currently scattered across the world, in Australia, England, the US, and Bahrain. I hope that they are all able to make it to our wedding for a little reunion.
Next, we have "the core" (yes, we actually called ourselves that....we even had t-shirts made). You can see my back in this picture, Rebecca is the deliriously happy one, Steph is facing the camera, and Rob is sadly hidden.
Here we are dressed up for a "villains" party....we're the ghosts from Pacman! You've already met Rebecca and Rhiannon, and my high school friend Rachel is on the right.
Mary has been my friend for the shortest amount of time, but has nevertheless made an impact on my life. Matthew and I attended her wedding in March, and she was a beautiful bride.
Myself, Rob, Rebecca, and Rhiannon at graduation (man I have a lot of friends whose names start with "R").I can only hope that I am lucky enough to meet such wonderful friends here in Vermont. Did you have to leave your social circle and start a new one to be with your fiance?
Monday, October 26, 2009
I am Marrying a Renaissance Man
On Saturday, Matthew decided that we couldn't go another minute without a coffee table in our "hang out" room. I was stacking coffee cups, etc. on this wooden crate that Matthew had lying around, and he was terrified that I would spill a beverage on the brand new, beige carpet (and honestly, with my clutsy history, it was a definite possibility).
We are really trying to save as much money as possible right now, and have decided that we wouldn't buy any furniture in fear that it wouldn't "match" the starter home that we are planning on buying with all of the money we saved. So, buying a coffee table was out.
During the renovations, we ripped out some old pine shelves that Matthew had in his walk in closet. The wood was in good condition, so we stored it in the garage for the time being. Matthew decided that he would make use of the wood to make our table.
Now, I must be honest, I had little hope for this table. Not only was the wood in pieces, but I have never known Matthew to be a carpenter. He was in the basement for a couple of hours, and came up with this:
I don't know about you, but I think that this is pretty fabulous for 2 hours of work on a Saturday! Because this was supposed to be a temporary piece of furniture, he didn't stain the wood, but I am thinking that this baby might be worth keeping! This is just like the time I challenged him to a tennis match just to find out that he has a serious back hand, or when after six years of dating, I learned that my honey's drumming skills go beyond tapping on a desk. His skills never cease to amaze me!
Now that I know about his secret talents, I plan to put him to work on wedding projects.....any ideas?
We are really trying to save as much money as possible right now, and have decided that we wouldn't buy any furniture in fear that it wouldn't "match" the starter home that we are planning on buying with all of the money we saved. So, buying a coffee table was out.
During the renovations, we ripped out some old pine shelves that Matthew had in his walk in closet. The wood was in good condition, so we stored it in the garage for the time being. Matthew decided that he would make use of the wood to make our table.
Now, I must be honest, I had little hope for this table. Not only was the wood in pieces, but I have never known Matthew to be a carpenter. He was in the basement for a couple of hours, and came up with this:
I don't know about you, but I think that this is pretty fabulous for 2 hours of work on a Saturday! Because this was supposed to be a temporary piece of furniture, he didn't stain the wood, but I am thinking that this baby might be worth keeping! This is just like the time I challenged him to a tennis match just to find out that he has a serious back hand, or when after six years of dating, I learned that my honey's drumming skills go beyond tapping on a desk. His skills never cease to amaze me!
Now that I know about his secret talents, I plan to put him to work on wedding projects.....any ideas?
Friday, October 23, 2009
My First Date with Craig
The gals on weddingbee.com have been raving lately about Craigslist. Before last night, I was a Craigslist virgin. I had never even been to the site! Come to think of it, although I've certainly explored sites such as Ebay, I've never actually bought anything from these online sources! I guess I'm just a little bit weirded out by used stuff....the snob in me says, "well, if it's not good enough for you, it's certainly not good enough for me!" (my how far I've come from my Polish-Communist-food stamp childhood).
Anyway, after all of the wonderful and cheap things that the bees (on Weddingbee, keep up!) have found on Craigslist, I decided to just take a look and see what was available in my area. And, can you believe it, I found something that I loved. I found something that I loved, for peanuts.
Now, usually, when I find something I love, I hmmmm and huhhhh, and ask my sister what she thinks (she usually loves it), and ask my mama what she thinks (she usually hates it), and by the time I actually decide that I must have it, it's no longer available. This is exactly what happened to the beautiful and cheap candlesticks.
But this time, I did something very out of character. I immediately emailed the seller, who wrote me back with a phone number. This morning, as if possessed by the spirit of my take charge little sis, I called her. And at 2:30pm, I was the proud owner of my very own free standing antique aluminum mailbox!!!!!
.......You bought a what?........a mailbox.........
......Wanna see???
How amazing will this be as a card box? I think that I might have Matthew paint it. I'm thinking white, with a navy blue "Letters" flap and yellow "Letters". Here's a little close up:
Anyone know how to paint aluminum???
Anyway, after all of the wonderful and cheap things that the bees (on Weddingbee, keep up!) have found on Craigslist, I decided to just take a look and see what was available in my area. And, can you believe it, I found something that I loved. I found something that I loved, for peanuts.
Now, usually, when I find something I love, I hmmmm and huhhhh, and ask my sister what she thinks (she usually loves it), and ask my mama what she thinks (she usually hates it), and by the time I actually decide that I must have it, it's no longer available. This is exactly what happened to the beautiful and cheap candlesticks.
But this time, I did something very out of character. I immediately emailed the seller, who wrote me back with a phone number. This morning, as if possessed by the spirit of my take charge little sis, I called her. And at 2:30pm, I was the proud owner of my very own free standing antique aluminum mailbox!!!!!
.......You bought a what?........a mailbox.........
......Wanna see???
How amazing will this be as a card box? I think that I might have Matthew paint it. I'm thinking white, with a navy blue "Letters" flap and yellow "Letters". Here's a little close up:
Anyone know how to paint aluminum???
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Videography.......Sigh.....
It seems like a pretty common thing. When wedding planning starts, it seems like the first thing that many modern brides do is book an excellent photographer that is out of their budget. After all, the photos are the only part of the wedding day that will survive for years to come. The bride-to-be calmly rationalizes the added expense to her fiance, mother, and anyone who will listen: "We will just scrimp on the videography.....or better yet, have a friend tape the wedding".
Of course, I was no different. And, like most naive brides, I forgot about my plan to save money on videography and started day dreaming about our day being captured by the likes of Still Motion (they are fellow Canadians, after all). I just couldn't bring myself to trust an uncle or a college roommate with something that I'll likely use to relive the day when the Post Wedding Trauma hits. However, considering that Still Motion's commissions range from about 1/4th - 3/4ths of our budget, I knew that there was no amount of rationalizing that could get Matthew to agree to hire them.
Thus I began my search for a great videographer that would fit into our measly budget. I searched and searched, but all I found were either decent but over priced professionals, or people whose editing "tastes" did not match my own. I even tried to find someone who would video tape the wedding without editing it for a discount (no editing is better than bad editing, in my opinion). However, when I was quoted over $700 for raw footage of 6 hours of our wedding, I decided that I didn't want to pay someone over $100 an hour to stand there with a camera. If we was going to have a videographer, it was going to be someone who cared about capturing our memories in a beautiful way. Maybe I would pay a couple of hundred dollars more, but the person would spend countless hours editing our video to ensure that it was a good representation of us.
After a long search, I stumbled across Digistudio. I had my sister meet with them, and she absolutely loved them. A couple of weeks later my mama met them, and she adored them as well (which, if you know my mama, does not happen often).
I am so happy to have found videographers that fit within our budget! I know that Byron, Joseph and their team will do a fabulous job capturing our happy day!
Since I am still a little new to the whole blogging thing, I don't know how to post a video off of their website here. Instead, you can see a wedding highlight on their blog, just in case you're interested.
Did you find a videographer that didn't cost you an arm and a leg, but was definitely worth every penny?
Of course, I was no different. And, like most naive brides, I forgot about my plan to save money on videography and started day dreaming about our day being captured by the likes of Still Motion (they are fellow Canadians, after all). I just couldn't bring myself to trust an uncle or a college roommate with something that I'll likely use to relive the day when the Post Wedding Trauma hits. However, considering that Still Motion's commissions range from about 1/4th - 3/4ths of our budget, I knew that there was no amount of rationalizing that could get Matthew to agree to hire them.
Thus I began my search for a great videographer that would fit into our measly budget. I searched and searched, but all I found were either decent but over priced professionals, or people whose editing "tastes" did not match my own. I even tried to find someone who would video tape the wedding without editing it for a discount (no editing is better than bad editing, in my opinion). However, when I was quoted over $700 for raw footage of 6 hours of our wedding, I decided that I didn't want to pay someone over $100 an hour to stand there with a camera. If we was going to have a videographer, it was going to be someone who cared about capturing our memories in a beautiful way. Maybe I would pay a couple of hundred dollars more, but the person would spend countless hours editing our video to ensure that it was a good representation of us.
After a long search, I stumbled across Digistudio. I had my sister meet with them, and she absolutely loved them. A couple of weeks later my mama met them, and she adored them as well (which, if you know my mama, does not happen often).
I am so happy to have found videographers that fit within our budget! I know that Byron, Joseph and their team will do a fabulous job capturing our happy day!
Since I am still a little new to the whole blogging thing, I don't know how to post a video off of their website here. Instead, you can see a wedding highlight on their blog, just in case you're interested.
Did you find a videographer that didn't cost you an arm and a leg, but was definitely worth every penny?
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