A New Family

I was inspired by a Weddingbee board thread yesterday to write a post about my living situation. For the last 2 months, Matthew and I have been living with his parents. Initially, we were planning on making this a temporary situation, but are now thinking of staying until after our wedding in July.

I have always been 100% behind the idea of living with his family. Matthew, on the other hand, has been more hesitant. When we lived apart, I lived with my dad, and Matthew lived with his parents. It just didn't make much sense for us to be renting two separate apartments, one in Toronto and one in Vermont, when we knew that our living situation was temporary. I was never ashamed of telling people that I lived with my dad, but I was extremely proud of the fact that I was able to pay off my student debt in a year and a half. Matthew, however, has admitted to purposefully omitting his living situation from conversation for fear that he would be judged as a slacker. I think the fact that I have moved in puts even more pressure on him. He promised to provide for me if I moved here, and I think that he feels like he is not doing that as long as we are living with his parents.

In the Polish culture, it is very common for a young married couple to live with their parents. Many households contain several generations. This is a simple way to help each other out: the grandparents provide shelter for the young couple, and in return, the young couple takes care of the grandparents as they age. It's a loving way for families to work together.

It seems that in North America, this living situation is looked upon differently. Many people have the false belief that living with your parents means that you are either irresponsible or broke. This is not the case for us: we can afford an apartment, but want to buy a house. We want to be debt free, and are taking this opportunity to save as much money as possible. We are very, very lucky to have people who love us and want to help us. I know that not everyone is in the same boat.

I think that it is more mature to accept help when you need it, than to drown in your pride. I see many people our age take on more than they can chew with school loans, mortgage payments, and credit card debt. We are sacrificing some luxuries, to make sure that our life together is started on the right foot.

Another positive side of living with Matthew's family is the fact that you get to know your in laws very well! I really appreciate and love my new family, even though I still can't call Matthew's parents by their first names. I hope that they won't mind me calling them "mom" and "dad" after the wedding.



Anyone else in my boat? Do you live with your parents or in laws?


P. S. I've been struggling with the STD's all morning. Hopefully I'll be able to show you the finished product tomorrow.